Friday, May 1, 2015

Blog Post #12

So this is it, it's coming to a close! Everything that I've worked on the whole year, it's almost over. I remember first hearing of 20 time at the beginning of the year, and it seemed like such a cool idea, but I felt really pressured. I felt like I needed to create something revolutionary, like an amazing invention or an idea, and I just felt...scared. Normally, I am a huge procrastinator, so the deadline for coming up with a project didn't affect me until it was staring at me right in the face. I panicked, and didn't know what to do, so I started to look at 20 time blogs from last year for ideas. I found the perfect project in drawing. It was easy, consistent, I had the freedom to choose what I wanted to draw, and failing wasn't really apparent. If you practice something long enough, you'll eventually get the hang of it. Looking back on it now, I wonder what would've happened if I did decide to invent something. I'm almost certain that I would freak out and feel like I had to succeed. Failure is a huge fear of mine; from the day you are born, you are told to achieve the highest grades, go to the best college, and have an important career that you get enough money for. I purposely chose something I would not fail at. This whole project reminded me of a huge investment opportunity. If you made $100, and someone you knew asked you to trade that in and make $1000, would you go for it? Would you risk everything you had to achieve everything you wanted? I didn't. I played it safe, and chose a safe project. Yeah, it was fun, but I feel like I was seriously missing out on something. I mean, when am I going to have this opportunity again? If you're reading this and you liked this project and maybe wanted to try it yourself, go for it! I'm not saying that this was a terrible project and it was the worst thing I've ever had to do, I'm just saying it was so...stagnant. Every Friday, choosing a picture, draw it, post it, you're done. But maybe I should be grateful for choosing this project. At the end of a long week, it allowed me to relax, and not think about anything but this simple project. Maybe I wasn't ready to reach out and start something new. Nonetheless, I'm so happy for this opportunity. Doing 20 time has allowed me to not only work on a drawing project, but also look at myself. It would have been a disaster if I had tried something that I was terrified of. Maybe one day, I can try and do this again. I'm still kind of scared for my 20 talk, because failure is still a fear, but there's a part of me that's excited to share what I've learned. I want to thank you guys for reading these posts and following me on this journey (if there's anyone still out there).

Thank you guys!

-Kiriel